Decisions, Decisions, Decisions.....

So this isn't the blog post I sat down to write today. This is about something that has been popping up on my Facebook for the last few weeks. It is the changes to the Tasmanian Abortion Laws. Now, I'm not naive or ignorant to think that everyone has differing opinions about abortion. In particular at the moment it is about how long you should have to make a choice. But one thing I do think is forgotten during the arguments for and against is that we should respect every women's right to decide, when the time is right for them. Yes, babies have rights and needs advocates. But sometimes I feel that those rights overshadow the rights of the mother, who lets face the facts gives up her body for 10 months to grow the tiny little person. I'm not down with the nitty gritty of the new legislation and I'm sure you can all hit google and find it. But as a woman and mother who has been offered abortion, this is my side to the argument.

After we had Bug Man, we discovered that he and DaddaG have Van Der Woude Syndrome or Pit Lip Syndrome. We didn't know anything about what this was until we took Bug Man to his 4 week plastic surgery check up for his cleft lip, where the surgeon discovered little pits in his lower lip. The surgeon was amazing and gave us a basic run down of the syndrome and sent us on our way. At this stage we were thinking Bug Man would be our only child and then he had his repair. It was amazing. It changed our outlook on if to have another child or not. 

We spoke to the surgeon about our concerns after doing A LOT of research and reading and he continually reassured us that if it happened again it was fixable. We had seen his work first hand and knew what an amazing job he could do. But to give us a bit more information he sent us along to a geneticist, who could map DaddaG's family history and give us some more information and insight into our options. It was a pretty quick appointment and we were once again reassured that the odds were 50/50 and having already had a child with the syndrome didn't increase our chances of another. We were given options to prevent the syndrome being passed on. 

The first was genetic testing via IVF. Basically you go through the whole IVF process, but before putting the fertilised embryo back inside they screen it for the syndrome. This all sounded great until we found out we would have to have it done in Melbourne and it was EXPENSIVE! There goes option one out the window. 

Our second option. Take a chance. Flip the coin. Have an amieo screening at 12 weeks to see if the syndrome was present and then if it was at the 20 week scan see exactly what was wrong. Then if it appeared at the 20 scan, ABORT! Well naturally this wasn't on the cards, although don't get me wrong I did contemplate it for a split second, especially when that desire for a 2nd child became so overwhelming. But the reality was I could never have gone through with it. 

The one thing I did take away from this was that we were given options and choices to decide what was right for us, or family and most of all our child. Shouldn't everyone have those choices, even if you don't agree with the reasoning....

And as any of you that have read my first post would know, we took the chance and flipped the coin and Little Jay was born with the same syndrome. I look back now at the options and things we were told and my reality is that I believe he was sent to us because we could give him the best life possible no matter what obstacles are in his way. 

Could I have ever aborted him, not in a million years but maybe some other mother and woman might need to for a million reasons. Is she right to do it? Maybe. But should she have the choice? YES!!!