Today marks a week since I have entered the world of Facebook. That is 7 whole days..... WOW!!! I can't remember the last time or if I have ever gone multiple days without Facebook since having the boys..... & to think that is 2 and half years ago! Although, I'm pretty confident my addiction kicked in long before then! I now sit and thing wow how did that happen? God when had it got to the point of addiction? I didn't even intend for my break to be this long. Last Sunday morning, I decided to take a self-enforced break for the day and over the last week it has just been a case of i'll log in tomorrow. But tomorrow never seemed to come and now I can't seem to make the plunge back into it. Maybe the fear of it taking over so much of my life again is what is stopping me. So let me take it back a step to last Sunday.
So last Sunday morning when I got up and pledged that I would go all day and not log on. I spent the day outside gardening (well catching up on 6 months of weeding) with the boys. Enjoying the much longed after sun. It was a great day!!! That night, I sat and realised that I had not had one attention seeking tantrum from Bug Man all day.... What a wake up call!!!! My gorgeous 2 and half year old was competing for my attention with social media. It was then I realised how much it consumed my life. I could no longer even take my phone to bed, because chances were if Little Jay woke me I would have to check it. Which would result in me losing hours of precious much needed sleep.
Social media plays such a huge part in our lives. But all to much lately, the media is filled with the negative impacts. There is this new society filled with keyboard heroes. I'm not delusional to know that by the time Bug Man and Little Jay are old enough to embrace social media and in-particular Facebook, they will experience a world of bullying we have never known and it scares the crap out of me. As a victim of bullying, I want to keep them safe from this world as long as I can. Back when I was bullied it was kept to the school yard, but now you can have a keyboard hero you have have never meet who lives on the other side of world voicing their opinion on you too. All to often we hear stories of young lives cut to short by bullying, which has been amplified and instigated on Facebook. I want to keep my boys from that as long as I can. I want to protect them and be a better mother. I want to find a better balance. Be present when I am present. I can easily say after the last 7 days that I no longer feel stubby and negative. Not being on Facebook, means that I no longer feel compiled to constantly voice my opinions and then fight for them when they are judged.
I can easily say that these last 7 days and staying away have been bloody hard. I mentally write status updates in my head. I miss my gorgeous friend and the daily support that she provides. I miss the fun that Facebook can provides. So my new goal for the weeks ahead is finding the balance. No longer losing hours of time browsing. No longer checking and then re-checking 5 mins later. And most importantly I no longer want to access it when I'm with Bug Man and Little Jay. Those gorgeous boys require my utmost attention. Every day they grow up and change and I don't want to miss a minute more than I have too!
So, hopefully I am cured of my addiction and now I am going to take the challenge and find the balance and most of all not go back to the way I was!!!!
